When I go home, it means I go to my room. I go into my room and never come out. I only go out to pee & shit, shower, find food or go my sis's room. I eat in my room, watch tv in my room, use laptop in my room. I hate it out there.
I'm out more than I'm home. And that's the way I want it. My family = me and my sis. That's it. The less I talk to my mom the better. Who cares if she sees this shit. I dont care. Why are my parents like that. Why other ppl's parents are understanding and thoughtful and motherly! My mom's selfishness has no boundaries. And i'm not exaggerating. I've tried. For years, literally..
Here's proof. And i'm blogging it in black and white to document it. Havent been talking to my mom since september. (Since I started working) The only time I talk to her is when I give her money, when I come home and she nags abt some shit. Silence has been good so far. And I know its good when I talk to her.
Story. Will tell it as objectively as possible. (My thoughts in brackets)
Asking her casually if she would sponsor me to learn driving. (Just ask for fun, who knows right? Although asking might be a bad idea, but dun ask = no chance) Mayb next time can send her to places.
Her immediate reponse was: "Wow, learn driving expensive right? need at least 1k horr" (1k to u like peanuts luh). "No no, cannot, very expensive leh. Later u wana use my car how. Then I will very inconvenient right?"
"Can drive u to places ma."
She continues her rant. "Later I sponsor u then in the end cannot use car cos u will want to borrow, why would I want to inconvenient myself!"
"Later u use my car I more scared ah, more scared u know."
"You think if u I want to go orchard ask u fetch u will fetch? U think u will? I dont think so right?"
(fk la bitch, this isnt all abt u u u can)
"You think I'm that kinda person meh? I alr say can drive u to places wad, if not learn driving for what?"
"So u can use the car lor! borrow borrow, i need to use everyday one leh i got work how u use if u learn driving?"
(So u trying to say that u sponsor me is wasted money cos u will use car everyday and wont let me use? only if u wana go orchard then u ask me fetch which u think I wont? wtf la bitch)
"If you think I'm that kinda person then so be it lo."
Her reply is power:
"Why u like that! I'm just saying later u need to use the car then I very inconvenient right?"
(Why isit all about u?)
She cont.
"Maybe next time when I old and cant see cant drive then u can go learn driving wad. Then I dun mind sponsor la."
I repeated myself, knowing she doesnt hear ppl's replies.
"If u think Im that kinda person then its ok la. Forget I ask, I go learn driving with my own money and get my own car. Next time u cant drive cant see not my prob. Since u think I'm that kinda person also no point."
She rants sth else and goes to her room. Who cares what she say. Conversation ended.
Cant believe how selfish she is.
Wait till she's a blind bitch with no sense of driving then sponsor me to learn driving? By then I think my kids start working already la, sponsor what shit.
So u see, this is no joke. When I say silence is golden. Its pure golden like fresh honey pouring out from a bee's hive. Cant even have a decent conversation with her.
Thanks mom for teaching me to be independent. Everytime when sth cocks up, she's busy at work. Nv pick up the phone. Too busy earning money for herself then to care abt our calls. I sometimes feel like not caring abt my parents. Whatever happens their business. They care the most is money money money! Nv cherish, nv try. All for own gain, selfish actions.
Xian shi as we call it, we stil owe our lives to them. I feel as if I'm no longer their responsibility and yet they are my responsibility now. But how are they my responsibilty when I'm not ready for it yet.
Fk care la, I take care of myself can alr. They so bz earning money can take care of themselves alr.
No one can uds, other then my sis. So dont bother telling me to take it easy. Cos it just doesnt work that way.