Time sometimes flies really fast.

Like now, when 1 month have passed.
Since I've seen you. Since we've met. Since I've held your hand and hold you tight.
Since I've played a piece for you. Since we ate, watch a movie, played wii, ran in the rain together.
Everyday I miss you, knowing how much I've hurt you.
I stil cant accept wtf is happening right now.
Mayb one day, we'll be back together. Whether as friends or couple I really dont know.

Time sometimes pass really slow.

Like now, not knowing if your love for me is true.
We cant buy time, we only can spend it.
All the things u say might just be empty promises.
I cannot control ur actions, ur feelings.

But,
time stil moves, and we all stil have to wake up for work, to eat, to get things done.
never said it will be easier each day.
never wanted for u to cry for me.
never asked for u to love me
never knew things could turn out this way

I only can figure out one thing.
I think I stil love you,
Cos only u can make me angry, make me cry, make me happy, make me feel lost, make me feel like I belong, all at once.

I dun believe it was a wasted 4 years. I stil hold our happy and sad moments together. Although alot of things we dun see eye to eye. We stil respect each other and try to commit. I like writing a bloody essay on my love story. But some things I just dunno how to tell u. So I just blog about it.

I stil worry about your meals, your work, your stress, things I can do better.
But all only think in my heart. Im no one to do that for you now.
Crying with the rain, my heart is a blur as my eyes right now.

You both deserve so much better then me.
I cant even make a fucking decision.

Single life is better and worse.
But I'll survive.

Do I love you?
I dont know.

Then why am I crying my soul out.
I dont know.

All the things we've been through. All the quarrels. All the flowers. All the birthdays, valentine's days, christmas days, school days. Poor days, rich days, happy days, sad days. 1542 days as of today we spent with each other. Dont mean a fucking thing to u?

Why do you have to appear in my life. Why did you let me love you, miss you.

You.
See all my flaws and stil love me for all my flaws.

He
Dont see all my flaws cos there's nothing he dont love about me.

You.
Like me to do things to make you happy cos you know it makes me happy too.

He.
Like to do things to make me happy cos he'll be happy too.

You.
Hate to make mistakes cos you want us to be perfect.

He.
Does all the mistakes cos he know he'll never be perfect.

You.
Make me want to marry you.

He.
Wants to marry me.

Both.
Love me with all ur heart.
Willing to sacrifice ur life for me.
Work like fuck for a future tgt.
Just want to keep me and love me forever.
Makes u feel that its time to settle down and have a life.
Have only me in ur heart.

I dont deserve,
to be loved that much. Not by both of you.
I'm not worth it.

I din expect it could hurt so much.

Somehow this reminds me of someone who told me, its never good to love 2 people, who broke up because he did what i'm doing now. I wanna tell u, u were right. U were right all along. And u were right, that its impossible to let go.

I cant let go. But I really dun deserve anything right now, other den lots of tissue and hanky, and shoulders to cry on.
TIME OUT.

Wee!

1st day went really smoothly! Sold a bag and a wrislet! =D Alot of things to be learnt. Not really sure what to do. So lost and blur. But everyone was really nice. They tried to help when they could.

6 months contract. Im sure will pass by really fast.

I'm stil having fever and flu. SUX.


The heart wants what it cannot take, and needs what it cannot give.

No.1 will always remain as no.1
I Love You.