zzZZzZZz

So totally not proud of myself neither am I too bothered by the fact that i might fail the 40% weightage test.. What can i do.. fail jiu fail le

Conclusion: I'm dumb and mayb i didnt study enuf.. but i managed to study everything given the damn short time frame.. No excuses for failing.. I didnt try hard enuf and I just soooo damn love mst... all i can say is thx to mst... thx!

Dear scolded me so badly.. I dun wana talk to him at all..

I need encouragement not lecture.. If i need lecture I would go talk to my mom.. but i guess 打是疼骂是爱 What can I say to that.. haix..

Yes! I am now officially working in Award Music Studios at Katong.. Some small music school la.. Cos they offer more flexibility for working time and their contract is 1 year... Cristofori give me 1 and a half year which is too long cos it starts from Sept. Dowan to work so long after i graduate.. So i take the short term contract.. Got money liao! hopefull they give me enuf students to cover my life expenses... 

Working on both Sat and Sun but i scared i gt no time to study... Sun half day the other half day rest.. Studying no choice gotta study after school time lor.. 

Reports!

FYP!

Help!

I dun wana fail any module..

I just wana graduate fast fast!

Damn sianx

dont feel like studying

Everytime when i'm bored and lazy yet i feel like doing sth.. i always think of what people are doing right now at this moment..

The first person i wud think of is dear.. but i already know wat he's doing most of the time.. and now.. he is sleeping.. lol.. poor thing.. did training non stop today.. wah.. imagine my dear in no.4 carrying weapons.. SHUAI!

Imagine that i had invisibility and teleportation power.. can like go spy on pple..wahaha..!

Went to eat japanese buffet family the other day.. ate like 3 plates of salmon sashimi, 4 plates of sushi, 1 and a half chiwanmushi, some fried potato thingy, tuna sashimi, watermelon juice and green tea (free flow), ehh.. and among other stuff too.. damn full.. lol.. then bought eyeliner pencil and eyeshadow from dodo club.. lol..

ah.. shld get back to studying..

zZz

I have totally uberly no motivation to study at all.. i've been reading Immunology textbook like its some magazine.. reading and understanding but not recorded in my memory space in my brain... Knowing i got alot to study and yet i just sit and force myself to read and read.. hopefully that helps somehow.. like being able to remember everything subconciously.. lol

Been really pissed with my mom.. as usual.. She treats me like a kid.. I'm forever a kid to her i guess.. Keeps telling me to find a job and yet she acts so concerned about me having no money.. she just doesnt wants to give me anymore pocket money thus me finding a job help solves that.. plus she gets money when i work.. she's so pro with acting nice..

lately i cant sleep earli.. sleep like 4am everyday.. almost.. i study of cos.. night time seems better to focus.. she keeps telling me to sleep earli.. like i'm some primary school kid who needs to sleep at 10pm everyday.. come on! give me a break pls.. i'm 19 years old already.. who does she think she is.. i told her that i'm not a kid anymore! guess wad she tells me.. "but u're not 21 either".. what the fuck? so if i'm not 21 i'm a kid la! that i have to listen when she's tells me to sleep... do what she tells me to.. if i'm a kid then u shld jolly well fucking pay me till i finish school.. 

I'm so stressed with exams fyp tests and everything.. i stil have to pay my phone bills with my own pocket money.. bills bills bills... bills my mom dont have to pay.. like electricity and water bills which my dad pays.. hse and car paid for.. she onli has to pay her phone bills and she dont even give me enuf pocket money.. Reali dont get it..

But there one thing that comes out of this.. my goal in life:

when i'm 21.. i'm moving out..

i'll get a job now and save wadever i can for the next 2 years

rent a small apartment

i wana get out of here so badly

cos as long as i'm 21 and above i can do whatever i want

i'm not legally in her care anymore

how i live my life its none of her business

if i ever need financial help NEVER go to her, nth good ever comes out when u talk money with her

bitch

i'm so glad i got dear

he makes everything ok

i know that if one day i'm so pissed and i run away from home.. i have somewhr to go

somewhr safe

hate being in this stupid stupid hse

no freedom though she claims she gives me alot.. my ass she does!

Dear in camp now.. miss him already.. no one to complain to..

Sux..

I wish time would pass by faster

alot faster

Like maybe teleport me in 2 years time

that's all i need really

Life sux.. that's the moral of this entry