I have totally uberly no motivation to study at all.. i've been reading Immunology textbook like its some magazine.. reading and understanding but not recorded in my memory space in my brain... Knowing i got alot to study and yet i just sit and force myself to read and read.. hopefully that helps somehow.. like being able to remember everything subconciously.. lol

Been really pissed with my mom.. as usual.. She treats me like a kid.. I'm forever a kid to her i guess.. Keeps telling me to find a job and yet she acts so concerned about me having no money.. she just doesnt wants to give me anymore pocket money thus me finding a job help solves that.. plus she gets money when i work.. she's so pro with acting nice..

lately i cant sleep earli.. sleep like 4am everyday.. almost.. i study of cos.. night time seems better to focus.. she keeps telling me to sleep earli.. like i'm some primary school kid who needs to sleep at 10pm everyday.. come on! give me a break pls.. i'm 19 years old already.. who does she think she is.. i told her that i'm not a kid anymore! guess wad she tells me.. "but u're not 21 either".. what the fuck? so if i'm not 21 i'm a kid la! that i have to listen when she's tells me to sleep... do what she tells me to.. if i'm a kid then u shld jolly well fucking pay me till i finish school.. 

I'm so stressed with exams fyp tests and everything.. i stil have to pay my phone bills with my own pocket money.. bills bills bills... bills my mom dont have to pay.. like electricity and water bills which my dad pays.. hse and car paid for.. she onli has to pay her phone bills and she dont even give me enuf pocket money.. Reali dont get it..

But there one thing that comes out of this.. my goal in life:

when i'm 21.. i'm moving out..

i'll get a job now and save wadever i can for the next 2 years

rent a small apartment

i wana get out of here so badly

cos as long as i'm 21 and above i can do whatever i want

i'm not legally in her care anymore

how i live my life its none of her business

if i ever need financial help NEVER go to her, nth good ever comes out when u talk money with her

bitch

i'm so glad i got dear

he makes everything ok

i know that if one day i'm so pissed and i run away from home.. i have somewhr to go

somewhr safe

hate being in this stupid stupid hse

no freedom though she claims she gives me alot.. my ass she does!

Dear in camp now.. miss him already.. no one to complain to..

Sux..

I wish time would pass by faster

alot faster

Like maybe teleport me in 2 years time

that's all i need really

Life sux.. that's the moral of this entry