Happy fucking mother's day

This day holds no more meaning for me anymore

That fucking bitch is the most selfish hyprocrite mother..

All because she lost money in some investment... 

She has savings.. Money can be earned.. Why does her carelessness or bad luck must come on to me..

Her lost in money can cost my life... She wont pay me pocket money anymore.. I have to pay my own bills.. my own shopping.. my own transport.. She expects me to manage all that under 300 bucks??

Our desktop is crashing and she doesnt care.. She claims she'll only buy a new one when it crashes.. Wow.. how conveniently are all our files in there huh..

She expects our whole family to survive on one laptop? My sis O level.. i final year and i'm looking for a job to support myself.. And she says I dont appreciate her.. Everyday she complains that i never take care of my sis.. That she shld be studying 24/7.. she is not some robot and everyone deserves some slack time...

I try to find good laptop deals so at least we can save some money on buying expensive desktop/laptop.. wow.. she actually said i'm trying to spend her money like no one's business..

And she dare to say that since i'm finding work why dont i buy my own laptop.. Do u think i'm able to find such a good paying job while studying my final year? I still got to pay for my own personal expenses.. Hello?!?!

She also said that if i find work she wont pay for remaining months of pocket money.. So if i'm working i dont get pocket money? I'm trying hard to earn extra money here and now i'm just working to survive.. 

I dont even wana speak to her.. she makes no sense and everything that concerns money either means she get the better deal or there is some condition to it.. which of cos she stil gets the better end... I told her im nt even working yet how am i suppose to get money to buy laptop.. she says she'll pay half.. but she wont buy desktop if it crashes... like wtf omg?!

She complains abt the money she paid for my Shanghai trip when she told me that she was okay with sponsoring.. if i had known i wud have just applied for local attachment.. I rather not she complain abt the money... What a hypocrite.. She only paid like 1.5k+? less than 2k she complain wad.. she can earn that in a week! I was in Shanghai for 2 fucking months! Come oN!

I suddenly miss my dad.. Although im not close to him and sometimes he can be quite a bastard there one thing he's not.. Family comes first to him and no matter how poor he is.. He will still give me money when i know he is need of it more than me... Money is family to my mom.. Even family have conditions when taking her money.. 

I suddenly feel bankrupt.. like the world whr i lived in.. A place whr i know i wud have always enuf to spend has suddenly disappeared.. I dont even have money for sch now.. 

The worse thing she said was she just found out she had such a selfish daughter who doesnt appreciate her mother for paying all my expenses (I'm studying for goodness sake how am i suppose to pay for them myself) like braces and stuff.. and that i'm ungrateful and stil a teenager!! Omg.. that's like wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf!?! She thinks i'm being childish here and crying and throwing my temper like a teenager?

I'm 19 and she still thinks i'm a child! She says as long as i'm below 21 she has the legal right to control and judge me.. okaay... if that is wad she thinks i will give it to her.. When i'm 21 i'm gonna move out whether she likes it or not.. She shld be happy living in a hse with one less ungrateful daughter.. I hope she is happy when she has gotten rid of her daughters out of the house.. And grow old alone by herself.. I'll see if eric really loves her by then.. that asshole.. they too got their own issues...

Cry until i headache.. I cant even do my work needed for tml.. So many things to worry about.. How i wish time wud pass by faster.. Dear wud take me away.. far far away from this horrible place..