Counting to wad? Feb 25th.. the date tentatively set for my jaw op..

Nope.. this is not a joke..

I think that week is exam week i not veri sure.. but it is possible to postpone it..

MAJOR op... anyway basically its just a fairly common op done by many pple to cut the jaw and push it back in.. So i can talk properly.. Not that i dont.. i have lived all my life with this stupid jaw.. Mayb when it is in the right position i would be talking NOT properly! lol.. 

So the surgeon says it takes about 6 weeks for the bone to recover and heal back.. They will put like metal screws inside to hold the bones together and wires to tie up my lower and upper jaw together so that i doesnt like drop off when i talk? haha.. i know it sound funny.. I dunno how to really explain lar... so basically my jaw would be clenched and I cant talk... NOR EAT!!! The doctor says i have to be fed with a syringe.. Liquid food for 2 months plus!! Suck and push the damn syringe into the side of my mouth for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner... MY GAWD!

Yep.. apparently i have to donate blood for myself for the op as well but i'm below 45KG so i'm not heavy enuf to do so.. I can try to put on 2KG till the op.. Have to be physically and mentally fit.. Definitely lose weight with all the liquid diet..

ALL FOR THE SAKE OF BEAUTY.. I'm so scared of pain.. I dont even dare to think of the things i have to go through.. Cant talk!! Cant eat proper food.. I cant believe i'm actually going to go thru with this.. Just cant believe it..

Imagine pple actually go for plastic surgery.. i think they are reali veri brave.. To be able to willingly sacrifice just to be prettier.. And i'm like already so scared when this is just corrective surgery.. zzZZ.. hopefully they'll give me a strong dose of pain killers and of cos.. lots of "sleeping pills" from dear.. HEHE.. 

At least i know all this will be over in the near future and ppl wont laugh at me when i cant say "SLOTH"!! haha.. U guys are such asses.. haha..

The pain of work.. doesnt matter wad kind.. as long as you are working for someone.. u will sure kena sucky things...

Yep.. i did... and on my 1st week of the job.. shall not curse online so shall keep it clean..

Anyway.. some of you already know the story..

As a not so experienced teacher, I can onli teach beginner students... Most students I teach are small kids, and they are definitely harder to teach then school kids.. (small kids as in 3-6 years old). So this new student i have that i teach on Sundays is 4 years old, has never been exposed to any kinda musical knowledge whatsoever.

His lesson starts at 9 (my first lesson) and I came 5 mins earlier.. However, the person-in-charge was sick and she came half an hour late... Cant blame her ma.. anyway.. I was given no materials and a student who has never had any musical exposure. I was quite lost and unprepared. Worse still.. as a 4 yr old boy, he kept crying and holding on to his mommy..

I tried to communicate with this flustered boy who paid no attention to me... The mother tried to coax him by siting in the lesson together. Finally he sat down on the chair and stopped crying. Without any materials I just had to come up with something right?! I taught him the simple 5-finger position on the piano.. he just didnt want to cooperate... All the time he just wanted his mother to hold his hand while he learns... Either he is shy or scared... Which i dun blame him.. he is just a child ma.. But how can i teach if he doesnt wana learn?!?!

Anyway this goes on for 20 minutes while i tried different ways to make him listen to me.. He kept crying and wanting his mother.. I GIVE UP! seriously this is going no where.. Heng onli half hour lesson... Veri soon it was over..

But guess wad.. The next week... i got a complain from the parent.. Boss told me that the parent complained about my non-pro-active teaching and that she had to prompt me several times how to teach her son... ehh your son dun wana learn.. keep holding on to you plus wadever i say he also dowan listen.. I not pro active? Your son is the problem not me can... I tried to keep my cool.. Parents are always right (just like customers are always right).. they are the money-payers.. we cant say they are wrong.. So i just explained to my boss the situation..  i had no materials blabla bla.. Anyway i kena complain means no good for the school already.. i just had to accept the fact that ya.. it is my fault..

The weeks after that week i kena complain... i've learnt that this student likes colouring.. He was more open to me after i said i will reward him with lolipop.. ya.. but that was all he wanted.. zz.. i told him if he did wad i taught him he would be rewarded.. but he didnt wana do wad he was told and kept hugging his mommy... Anyway it was an improvement cos he did learn the notes from C to B.. Anyway boss told me that i had to add time to her lesson cos the last week lesson started late..

Today was his third lesson and I asked the mother about the time adding.. cos seriously half an hour was too much for the boy to take and I cant add time as promised. I also apologized about the first week explaining that the late coming of the person-in-charge plus my unpreparedness of what to do in situations like this. I did that firstly was to clear any misunderstandings between us as well as to ask wad actually was she unhappy about with me.. I didnt ask directly though... 

Anyway she told me that she complain to the school cos she felt that it was unfair to me if she had come directly to me.. She didnt reali say anything abt my teaching.. mayb she didnt wana make things worse.. or that there was improvement in the lesson between me and her son therefore she didnt wana bring up old events. Either way at least I cleared things up better with the parent.. hopefully the parent gives positive feedback this time round cos my boss keeps reminding me that i shld be more interactive bla bla bla... zzzZzz

Work sux... but wad to do when parents dont give u money..

I see my life as a mess

Dunno how u guys see it though

Am I......

Too Naive?

Too lazy?

Too skinny?

Fake?

Not wad u think when u reali get to know me?

Just a friend?

A closer friend maybe?

Emo?

Doesnt reali matter though... cos i know i'm in a mess and i'm not happy..

Sometimes i go to school and pretend to be happy although i'm not..

School life is suppose to fun.. 

Why shld I let my bad mood affect those around me..

A good fren would know when something is wrong even when i fake it right?

I'm so busy with school work and real work..

So not used to these kinda hectic lifestyle..

Help!

No one can help me also.. In the end.. when u sit for a test or find a job or when problem arises, its all up to yourself.. U can only ask for advice and support.. 

P.S. Juan if u are reading this.. I'm so sorry we haven talked for so long!!!!!!! So busy to call.. Haix.. Dunno when can meet up.. boo.. sads!